DITY Moves - Not Worth It!

Hi!

Do IT Yourself - DITY moves are not worth your time!  

If you are not familiar with the military moving system, I will explain what I know.

There is a special office that the military member contacts when it is close to moving time, the TMO, that helps coordinate movers to ship your household goods to your next assignment.  Then, the TMO office pays commercial movers for the expense of moving based upon the weight and mileage of what is moved where.  This is a very expensive process, but is necessary for the military members who move because moving an entire house takes a lot of time and money.  

However, if the military member opts to do the move themselves, the TMO is supposed to pay the military member what they would pay a commercial service.  This is especially helpful if the member would like some extra money for whatever reason - at least it sounds helpful.  

My husband and I tried this because I was staying home and thought to myself, "Here's a chance to earn some money without getting a job, and I can stay at home with my daughter and son."  I will forever curse those thoughts because they caused me a lot of trouble.  

Here are some of the advantages movers have over military people who are not movers:

Advantage 1: 18wheelers

Movers have giant trucks with lots of room for your stuff.  They also can move multiple households at once.  This helps with profitability. Also, planning a move with stuff that can barely fit in the largest truck you can rent is tough.  Think of solving the worlds heaviest 100 piece puzzle, and you've got the idea.

Advantage 2: 5 guys to pack 5 guys to load

Movers have more people to help pack your goods.  Also, they don't bring their kids along that like to unpack boxes.  I think I would finish 2 boxes while my kids unpacked 1.  Two steps forward and one step back was the game they liked to play.  I didn't like that game so much. My husband and I are strong, but a day of packing ( and then unpacking) a truck in only a few hours on our own was like running a marathon.  You pay for every day you have the truck, so time is of the essence.  We were hot and tired.  Maybe it was the 120 weather and the fact that we both had a severe stomach virus during unpacking that made it seem really bad.  I don't know.  

Advantage 3: Professional estimator

Guessing how much truck space is needed for your household goods is like guessing how many stars fill the sky.  (Ok, it's not really that bad, but it's close. )  The people who come to estimate the number of boxes and space needed are pretty good at what they do, and we stink.  

Advantage 4: Movers get a good deal on boxes

Apparently, the people who make boxes fill them with gold.  When you see how much you are charged for what is basically stiff paper, you may think boxes have gold hidden inside, but alas, they do not.  Sticker shock hit me when I went to buy boxes, and instead of buying them, I went dumpster diving in the base recycling bins whenever I could.  Trust me, this is not easy, but it does save money.  

I think you get the point.  You know, we moved at the same time as our friends, to the same place, and we had the same total weight to ship.  Our total pay was less than $1800.  I don't know how it worked-out, but they saw how much the movers were paid, and they said it totaled around $9000.  We essentially profited $800 for a month of planning, and dumpster diving, and living out of boxes, and working in extreme heat and losing our minds with our kids unpacking, and spending all of our free time working on that one project.  I would say, unless you are desperate for the dough, DITY moves are not worth it!  A DITY move with kids is highly stressful.  

Granted, we made a move that was only a 12 hour drive from where we lived.  If you were, say, moving across country, maybe you would profit more.  But, if you actually spent money on all of your boxes, and bought all of the supplies that a mover does, you might profit very little, if anything at all.  

It is probably worth looking into if you are considering it.  You can try it, and then maybe some day you can give some sage advice to another military family considering a DITY move: DITY moves are not worth it!

More Mrs. Fix-It!

Well, 

If you ever have to fix something, you know you can ask me.  

To my list, I will add:

Dishwasher door repair

Refrigerator water actuator repair

and

Washing machine water inlet valve solenoid replacement

Can you tell that I am proud?  

I highly recommend www.partselect.com if you need a part.  It usually ships the same day you order a part.  I've used them for 4 parts, and all were exactly what I needed.  

Again, I think many of my skills were added as necessary due to our frequent moves.  My children, however, deserve some of the credit for jumping on dishwasher doors, and pushing the water actuator on the refrigerator with too much force.  

It's all good!  :)

Thanks for listening!

C.M.

Military Lawyers

Ok, 

So, it's about time I wrote more about the positives of being a military spouse.  

Perhaps you haven't, but chances are, sometime in this life you will come across someone who is particularly nasty, and treats you unfairly.  Perhaps you have never had a need for legal advice, but then again, you may meet someone who does not obey the law, and their disobedience affects you.  

Twice in my life have I had people try to take or keep money that they did not deserve, and both times, I sought the free legal counsel that is offered on most military bases.  

My most recent visit was just a few days ago, and my lawyer ROCKED.  She basically settled the issue out-of-court because she called the "not-nice-people" and told them the facts, without any hesitation, but with much authority.  

Unfortunately, I have much to do tonight, but I will give more details about this awesome military benefit another time.  

If you are military, call the legal office for help.  :)

Lost.

What depths of pain can the human heart fathom? 

This doesn't have much to do with being in the military, although not being permanently settled has some effect.  So, I am off subject today for good reason.

On Saturday, I lost one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received: my dear Bonne.  

Those who have not known the sweet, gentle, loving and playful spirit of a dog won't understand the severe grief I am now in.  I write only to distract, as nothing seems to hold any joy for me at this moment.   I know what should and should not bring happiness, but I can't help but ache at the mere thought of anything.  I want to shut down.  

Bonne came into my life shortly before Christmas when I was 12 years old.  I had just lost a friend, and Bonne came to lift me up.  She was smaller than my hand, but full of it.  I know that she picked me, as she came out of her litter to come to me.  

This little dog was the only creature that I shared every thought with.  She knew when I was in pain, and cuddled accordingly.  She knew when I was happy, and played.  She had emotions, and she let me know if she was mad, or sad.  After leaving her for almost a year without visits, I returned, and she let me know her displeasure by her behavior.  

I can't tell you all that she was to me, and me alone, but I can say that I would almost equivocate her death with losing a child.  There,  I said it, it is pretty much that tough.  I raised her.  I was her guardian, and she was mine.  She was present through deaths in the family, and graduation from high-school and college.  She approved of my husband before we were engaged. She loved all of my kids, and waited to see each one come home.  She saw the Grand Canyon with me.  I was playing with her when I sprained my ankle.  She helped me practice my tennis serves by fetching the ball.  She came to tennis tournaments with me.  (I would have had her walk down the aisle with me at my wedding if I could have.)  She slept by my feet or by my side every night since I was married.  She slept as close to me as possible when I lived with my mom because she was forced to stay outside.  She followed me to the bathroom when I was there.  She stayed in the kitchen when I was there.  She slept beside me when I nursed my kids.  There's just no end to how good she was to me.  

Since Saturday, she has not been with me.  She died in my arms in our car when the vet injected her with anesthesia.  She was old at 17, and in pain, and I chose that day to get her out of pain, but I am now in greater pain than I have ever experienced in my life.  

I know what people may say, and that some may never understand how much pain I feel at losing her.  There's no doubt that some would call me crazy, but I know something they don't: even though she does not have the manner of speaking, or creating, or living that we as humans do, she had every ounce of emotional closeness that often humans lack.  She had more soul than many people I know.  She was more than just a doll, or a figment of my imagination.  Her love for me, and mine for her was incredibly real.  She didn't just care for anybody: I was her favorite.  She was fully capable of loving others, though, and she especially liked children when she was able to keep-up with them.  

If you are a skeptic, I could never convince you, but write I must.  So, I am admitting that the grief I feel for her is like, and possibly more, than that I would feel for a human with the same circumstances surrounding her life.  She was closer than a sister to me for 17 years, yet she was childlike in the fact that she depended on me for so much.  I believe she needed me as much as I needed her.  I raised her from puppy-dom, and so I could have been like a mother to her.  Our relationship was complex and sublime.  We were together all the time.  Any moment that I wasn't with her, she was on my mind.   Even on mundane days where she would lie on her bed while I went about all my other business of raising my kids and keeping the house, we had a bond. 

Now, she is gone, and everything- absolutely everything feels painful.  Laundry feels painful because I used to do it for her.  We put our first offer on a house on Friday, and I don't want to even think about it because she died the next day.  I look at where she pottied in the back yard and it hurts.  I turn off the heat, and it hurts.  I can't eat and sleep isn't fruitful.  No movie can take my mind off of her.  Movies that I would have really enjoyed before are just noise.  I love my kids, without a doubt, but loving them and enjoying them hurts because I'm doing it without her.  My Bonne was a treasure.  

I would give anything to have her back, except, my kids and my husband.  I don't have a million, but I would find that money if it could bring her back.  

Losing her is more painful than losing my skin.  It's soul ache.  

This post is just a stream of thought: not complete, not fully organized.  Just me writing as I dwell over my painful loss.  

I LOVE YOU, Little BONNE!  

New Year, New Surprises!

Well, we're off to another year of adventures as a military family.  

Military life keeps you on your toes, as it often surprises you.  

Although we still have some time before we move again, we like to plan ahead for every option, and pick our favorites.  The assignment process is very complicated when a family is involved, to say the least.  Usually, even though the active duty member has some say in what assignment they prefer, the places you move will not provide you with every desire you have.  

On our list of desirable qualities in a places where we like to live are: good schools for the kids, good neighborhoods, short commutes to the base, work/school opportunities for myself, access to good medical care, affordability of good housing (and yes, this varies greatly despite the DOD's best efforts at equalizing housing allowance for all bases), proximity to our families, time commitments and schedule of work at the assignment, and my husband's career.  Whew!  Those are just the big considerations.  :)

There are some jobs that my husband would love to do, but they don't make smart career decisions.  Some jobs have a more stable schedule, with a 9-5 type workload, from which we as a family would benefit greatly.  Currently, we send our kids to some of the lowest ranked schools in the nation, but when our other options were weighed, this assignment made the most sense for us.  

Sometimes, you make plans for one assignment, and in the next moment, you discover an option that might suit your goals better. That is kind of fun!:)

 The military career and lifestyle can sometimes feel like a game of chess in weighing all of your options and moves.  Facing the choices can be thrilling and/or disheartening.  

Military families must be flexible in facing a future that has yet to reveal itself, and be ever prepared for the new challenges the next assignment might bring.  

Hope you have a great January!  Thanks for listening!

C.M.

Lots of Lights!

Hello!

Alright, this year I have a lot of lights already, but don't have much clue about where to put them all.  I have some icicles from a few houses back, but they don't really fit here.  I have some C-9 lights, but the clips I bought for our last house do not work here.  

We've moved from a 2-story to a 1-story, and now my lights that I strung from the staircase rail have nowhere to go.  

And where should I put the snowflakes?  

The characters I have are WAY TOO BIG for this smaller house, but I've put them out front until I can make replacements.  

So it goes.  We move way too often.  :)

Oh, but it is fun to see the kids light-up when the lights light-up.  I enjoy this part of CHRISTmas so much.

Merry CHRISTmas!

C.M.

Ms. Fix It

Hey, 

Again, this is not unheard of in the civilian world, but military spouses have to take over much of the responsibility of, well..., both parents.  If you ever need help fixing something around the house, ask a military spouse, because I can guarantee they've had a lot of experience in repairing and replacing many worn-out and/or broken items.  

We have been in so many homes now that I've lost track of the number, but in every home, something has needed to be fixed.  Don't get me started on base housing.  If you want anything fixed in a timely manner, nine times out of ten, you've got to do it yourself.  

So, here's a list of things that I have done with or without my dear husband, starting with the most recent projects:

1. Replaced rollers on sliding door.

2. Replaced kitchen faucet.  (And the old one was rusted-in. EEWWW.)

3. Put in faux grass tinkle spot for dogs in the back yard.

4. Replaced shower head.

5. Repaired damaged drywall in multiple places at multiple times.  (Why can't my kids leave the walls alone?)

6. Installed ceiling fans.

7. Repaired vertical blinds, horizontal blinds, windows, etc.  

8. Installed overhead garage storage rack.

9. Repaired sprinkler heads in lawn.

10. Helped install RO system under kitchen sink.

11.  Installed prepadded berber carpeting.  (Don't do this, ever.)

12.  Helped install pergo wood flooring entryway.  

13.  Repaired dripping faucets.

14. Replaced many towel rods. (My daughter likes to pretend she's in the circus.)

15. Installed new laminate flooring.

Plus a myriad of other tasks.  :)  All of these projects have been done in homes that we did not own, so I don't get the benefit of these projects for the long term.  

I know that I am not alone in this.  Just like single parents, military spouses have to do much of this sort of thing on their own.  Am I proud? Sure.  However, I would like to have done these projects in our own home instead of in homes owned by others.  

Aahhh.  I can't wait until that day.  :)

Hope you have a great week.  

C.M.